I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
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She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
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I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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