Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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