I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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