At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
