His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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