i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
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I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
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I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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