____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
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