Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
