Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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