in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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