But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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