Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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