This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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