what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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