this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
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This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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