Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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