and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
