Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
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The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm having to shit out rocks
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