I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
