you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize