The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
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you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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