I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
All I want is dick and wine.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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