Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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