i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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