i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
