As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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