you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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