so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
