My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I need a burrito and a hug.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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