I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
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I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
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Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize