oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
