Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
