"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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