i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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