I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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