Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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