i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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