There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
try to milk me bitch
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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