KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
