Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
