Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?

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(713): So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue? http://tfl.nu/mqzj

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(806): View more from Texas

I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.

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(806): I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes. http://tfl.nu/owra

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.

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(704): Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten. http://tfl.nu/097z

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.

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(808): Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high. http://tfl.nu/emp7

Replies (8) Good night (5916) Bad night (959)
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(914): View more from New York

all she had left on were here heels. phone five

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(914): all she had left on were here heels. phone five http://tfl.nu/azpy

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.

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(908): I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator. http://tfl.nu/xdgs

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(650): View more from California

dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king

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(650): dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king http://tfl.nu/ix08

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.

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(603): He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like. http://tfl.nu/awah

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(613): View more from Ontario

I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."

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(613): I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.." http://tfl.nu/n3mo

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(206): View more from Washington

She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.

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(206): She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers. http://tfl.nu/uzdb

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(806): View more from Texas

Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.

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(806): Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain. http://tfl.nu/iymf

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(219): View more from Indiana

Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.

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(219): Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though. http://tfl.nu/18ka

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(903): View more from Texas

You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right

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(903): You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right http://tfl.nu/ohnr

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.

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(+44): Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am. http://tfl.nu/fqfm

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(330): View more from Ohio

I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.

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(330): I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs. http://tfl.nu/5zwg

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