No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall