Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I would fuck him just for his dog