your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.