fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
