Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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