Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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