dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
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He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
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what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I did not marry a roomba.
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