i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.