i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.