rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.