So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.