O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you