hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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