i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
