I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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