Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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